Yesterday Loz took me out for lunch at Porta lounge in Fishponds which was lovely. I had been apprehensive because I find that conversation is not quite so easy with him (or any guy I’m dating) as it would be with a friend. I discussed this with Ollie once, who agreed, and said that him and Hollie often had awkward silences. As it happened though, myself and Loz did not, and it was a really lovely day. Afterwards we returned to his house and as his mum was in her workshop we quickly progressed to more than just kissing. I love being with him, he makes me feel so lovely about myself. I know I said before I feel inadequate, and I do, but not because of things he says, for he says lovely things. When I feel inadequate it’s because I’ve been getting paranoid.

After lunch and going back to his I briefly returned to my house before going out for my ‘party’. It was in the field, but surprisingly it wasn’t too bad. I spent most of the night with Maxine and Ollie, I think, although my memory is hazy for a lot of it. At any rate I’m sure I enjoyed the night.

Mark was really sweet at one point. He just started telling me how pretty I was. I didn’t remember this until this morning when he said something along the lines of, ‘Hey Nicky, you know I was telling you I thought you were really pretty, that wasn’t just drunken talk, I meant it.’

I thought it was really sweet