Right, I’m deleting my other blog because the memories make me sad. And they’re not coming back. So I’m just copyinh and pasting all the stuff that I do actually want to remember e.g. Newquay etc.

I can’t believe this is over :/ I can’t believe how sad I am.

Oxford

• Said University
• The fat one…
• Pasta
• Makeup bags
• Street performers
• Henry the hoover
• Walking
• Book signing
• I want to be sedated
• Can we take her home?
• That piano’s not insured…
• French Cafe

More but I can’t presently remember.

And I’m not in the mood.

Weymouth

Well I’ve just returned to a nice build up of depressing blogs. And not that I wish to take anything away from the few who to my knowledge actually have something to be depressed about, (I’m sorry but I will not feel that trumpet cock has a valid reason for depression whatever the circumstances), but I’m going to give a happy but brief blog on Weymouth. That may well not make sense to anyone but me, but will help me remember all the same.

Spotlight – Chicken stood on a cow – Boggy bubbles – Aquila (partners with Microsoft!) – Getting moved to a clean table :@ – Pictionary! – Forest Spoon – Salty Soup – Tank Museum? – Kebab – Suggerate Father – Zoe – Chocolate Brownies – Gogh Pictures – Cornrows and Plaits – Carpet in hair – Gypsy – Leather jacket? Anal – See what she did there? – Caddie! – Nominationnns (y) – English Gcse

 

Thats all I can think of for now.. I’m sure there was more but ahh well I’ll add to it if I remember. In all honesty it wasn’t as good as sheringham, but saying that I’d count that as 3 of the best days of my life, which is pretty hard to beat.

But still a lush weekend

• You’re love is suicidal, suicidal…
• I don’t have a bra on!
• Theres more gin…
• Thats not dancing, thats an epilectic fit!
• Sinnnging
• He didn’t rape us… we must be ugly.
• Wine to appease.
• Caves
• Anna and Dillan haunting people

 

I can’t even remember much of the actual club place. Just like the night with Sam and Sophie, which was hilarious :L

I don’t know I wanted to record it somehow but my mines gone blank. I had a really nice night though

House meal

Oh my God, today has been amazing. I was happy like all day anyway, Psychology in starbucks was lush, and English with horny Rochester gagging for it, and Harry Potter was just hilarious. Some of those moments you just really love, but no one else gets why I guess.

And then tonight was amazing. Despite Scotts cocking up the drinking for us, fake ID and pre bought cider acted as saviours. Mr Whitehouse was out of it drunk it was hilarious;

Whens your birthday Nicky?

September 25th

So you’re a virgo!!

Nah, Libra.

I’m a virgin. Have 2 kids don’t know where from. Begin to question the wife eh.

Smoke shoelaces. They’re better then twiglets… just get some rizzler and smoke shoelaces.

 

And then Charity and co working so hard to get us into all these clubs… haha trying for Lizards with the carefully crafted fake stamps to get the responce ‘we haven’t started giving out stamps yet tonight.’

It was just so nice of them to take us away from the organisation of the night and really care about us. To see them get into a club, see only half of us say get in, and so all come out because they won’t leave people behind. Charity you were amazing.

I’m so happy.

I remember some things.

Such as Mark and Dan taking me to France then Eygpt and then (as I rode on Dans back as he was of course the donkey) Bethlehem, and stopping for Pom Bears, as happens in the real nativity, while singing it’s a long way to Tiperaree.

I remember lying on the ground with Holly reaching out to some star to touch it because it gave us orgasms.

I remember our song making it’s first public debut… which may not have been the best idea…

I remember shouting at Sam, and then stopping to ask why there were always two groups and we were always shouting at eachother between them

I remember asking everyone why I had not been denounced as a wizard.

I remember being in a phone box with Ollie and Maxine

I remember running off to drink just the Sheringham crew.

Oh god, I remember Lici…

I remember singing Little Mermaid with Maxine, having guarded her peeing…

I remember singing with Jack and Lici and people… I think

I remember…

Thats about it, asides from a few conversations with Ollie say, that didn’t consist of much more then drunken promises of being best mates for life…

Although that totally will happen :L

people have done a very fair job on summing up Harbour yesterday. It was pretty amazing. However no one mentioned any kicking of certain people, falling over in a crowd with amy on my back, or ripping up amys tights, much to my own amusement.

It was fun.

The fireworks however were my highlight. Well, as in what the festival actually offered us as opposed to raping apple pies, monkeys hats, pubes in chips, slightly racist comments, Captain Pugwash and his lot, doing the macerena (CLASSIC! Apparently pink boy was right behind us too :L) And generally insulting herpes, and trumpet cock…

The fireworks were good. Because I swear it’s meant to be something thats best with your significant other, but we were all stood there, either single or lacking in our partner, just together as a group of friends. A group of friends where there have been shit loads of problems between various members lately, but still stood arms around eachother singing, and watching fireworks.

It was lush

Dear Ellis and Lillian,

Sorry it is not a very inspiring card, but it means a lot to us. On our second night we were sat in the resturant when the Balilaka struck up, and little Hermione started to dance. She was a natural. Everyone was spellbound. Just as she started her second dance, a local talent scout stood up, and shot her! Harry was quite distraught, but we took him snorkelling, and the smile was soon planted firmly back on his face; the little bugger. We thought we’d have to break off our holiday, but then remembered that we hadn’t taken out any insurance! Luckily the barman at our resort was very sympathetic, and let us keep Hermy in his ice cream cabinet so we could still have our full two weeks. The other children don’t seem to mind at all, seeing little Hermiones face peering out from between the cornetto’s. I’m not sure how we’re going to get Hermione home, as Marco said he can’t afford to be without his icecream cabinet for the four or five days it will take us to fly Hermione home and return it, what with the loss of stock and everything. Anyway, I expect we’ll find a way.

Anyway, aside from that the weathers been good and we’ve had a lovely time.

Hope this finds you as it leaves us,

Brett, Sam, Harry and Hermione

I’m a geisha girl, in a geisha world. Lifes fantastic, it’s made of plastic (8)

What would happen if free range chickens were 12 foot tall, and hazourdous to human safety, but people wouldn’t have them non free range because of the quality of eggs?

 

I went paragliding today was pretty sweet. And also saw a Robbie Williams tribute act. Think Jack off Will and Grace, same camp personality, hilarious dancing and general lols. Plus he couldn’t sing the top notes.

Newquay

Was absolutely amazing. I’m thinking I’ll go through it day by day, and then maybe sum up at the end. Hmm, the bullet points will probably only be relevant to read for anyone who was there, because I can’t be bothered to explain them all. It’s generally stuff you had to be there for. Paragraphs later might be more relevant. It’s doubtful though.

Day one

• The train down; ‘Is there any more biscuits’, Portsmouth/Plymouth (I mean what the fuck Oh you can tell we go to a private school, I swear), God talk.
• Absinth! At Tom Benns house… Madness even being there really.
• Buying cheesecake, and then having a very drunk/stoned Jon sit in it… which was quite amusing. We bought cheesecake and gateau, we didn’t end up eating either of them. But what ridiculous buys in the first place. Whose idea was that! We didn’t even have cutlery! They did make for good laughs though, I’m glad whoever got them did so.

Day two

• Cheat. Oh yeah, I kicked ass. Too right. Good way to spend the first day right Seriously, up until going to Koola later, this was not so far how I expected that Newquay to be.
• Salvia. And sandangels. That made me properly laugh. ‘There were wizards, and we were making bricks out of fruit’. Lol!
• Returning back, and guitar hero on the way. Ahh we know what you’re like really, it’s all good. It makes me laugh. Ahh these are such minor details, but I’m just listing everything I remember
• Bra’s, and fighter planes as it was. That was so random. And then going out. I refuse to go swimming in underwear, I didn’t fancy walking home sopping wet with no change of clothes. Oh yeah, plus the fact that earlier in the morning, I just put a top over my bikini, and walked home as if I was lactating… yeah So while you were off fighting the waves, volley ball (y) . ‘We’re rock cats. We were tree cats, but there’s no tree’s about, so we’re rock cats’… I don’t know why I remember that :L
• Koola. We’ll leave it at that.
• Having returned home, bread and life stories. It was quite nice really

Day three

• Hoodies. And no, I do not regret that buy, whatever you say And Tattoo hunting. That was a fail Oh and Boots! Haha, Oh, a brief skip forward to the next day or so, when once again clubbing in Koola; ‘PAIN KILLERS!’. Haha, that was hilarious. Umm, and also eyeliner, Vaseline (Bloody Freddie)… Damn it, there was something else… Plasters! Ha got it all. Oh and also fudge. And chips naturally.
• After a long long shop, the fight pit. And burying you. Ha, that was amusing. And then pizza. With orange juice. Heh.
• The evening, was mad. Never trust someone on a mixture of ket and weed to help you over barbed wire, ridiculously bad idea. Bare knuckle gypsy fighting, just lol. Umm, more fight pit. Waaaste Cadet, and star wars. Oh and also F.T brought his guitar, and we were sat in the fightpit singing, and it was one of those lush moments you remember So yay
• And walking home. The school song, and Jerusalem. Didn’t think I’d be singing that with such a random group of people. Oh and that girl, haha; ‘Maybe it’s with the frisbee’… Haha. ‘It’s amazing how absolutely interesting things can seem through outside influences of the mind.’ Oh you’re such a legend, coming out with shit like that. I honestly envy you for your vocabulary range. That’s not an especially good example of it, but may as well mention it now, while I’m referring to you.
• We return to find our gateau stolen. So both that and the cheesecake have been rather pointless purchases. And that the landlord have found out about us drinking, and we need to be quieter or we’ll be kicked out. Oh they didn’t know what was going to hit them. And then Jon told us about how he walked into the sea with him camera and phone in his pocket, which broke. He was later threatened with a knife and told to ‘give me (the thief, obviously) all you got’. So he handed over faulty goods. And took pride in telling this ironic story. The phone and camera were later returned to him by the police… I’m not sure how they got them back though…

Day four

• What’s the story morning glory? I did a funny. Swimming, again. Salad! Oh and also 3 bottles of juice, 2 packets of cookies, a 400g bar of Cadburys whole nut, and chips… but salad!

  Americans have pancakes for breakfast in sizes like 17, 19 or 21…

  Like trousers!

  Ahh that was so amusing at the time :L Oh building the holes! Under towels for people to fall in. It worked and all. That was fun.

• Koola! After spending ages trying and failing to get some keys, we got in on our VIP passes (Oh hell yeah ). It was shit at first, no one was there, so we just stayed upstairs and saw some pretty impressive dancing… And then I met ‘Joe’ Who was and is rather lovely. It totally failed as a foam party though.
• GRAHAM! Who more or less deserves an entire bullet point. Haha Ben, seeing you perform Jerusalem with him on your head was, up until the next day, one of the funniest things I’d ever seen in my life. He’s God. And not called Anna. Never called Anna. Graham, for those few hours, genuinely was very important, and me and Ben at least, were up until 5am praising him. And also listening to Maxine snore. Because it was really funny. And we were in proper hysterics :L Oh and we also had a midnight/several hours into the morning, feast

Day five

• ‘I’m older then both of you!”

  Put together!? I think not.’

  I don’t think I share your enthusiasm for music. Full English! That was lush

• And then the evening. Despite having a lovely time with a certain someone when we were alone, me thinks I’m going to concentrate on the most amusing thing that I’ve witnessed in a fair while. Look to the last picture above, while taking this in.

  Hughsy, whatever you might think, in my opinion is hilarious, and for how he was a scapegoat for me later, voluntarily, without me even asking, is also a complete legend. I watched it. I let him in. I didn’t at the time know the purpose, but I can assure you, checking our roof later on was a futile gesture. All your clothes in the shower covered with shampoo, shower gel, shaving cream, and without a doubt best of all oatmeal. Oh, that is the best buy anyone made all holiday, hats off to Dighty for that one. And cards everywhere, whatever shit on your bed… haha brilliance. You’re reaction; Who the fuck would do this!?!?! Haha, it was brilliant. And then the people you accused; Dighty and Grenny wanted me to do a scene out of a film, this is them reinacting it, I bet it’s Hughes, I stole a spliff, It’s Ed, It’s the government. And the fact that you didn’t question once it being me, except in a sarcastic manner. Well, it wasn’t really, but hey, I had more of a role then say Ed. But, ahh, you didn’t see what we were doing while you cleaned. Ben did the sprinkles, Dighty chucked the remainder of your underwear out the window, and of course shot you with the BB gun (Another great buy). I’m sorry I just really don’t like touching other peoples dirty clothes… or porridge.

  ‘This was totally uncalled for!’

  ‘You stole a spliff’

  ‘How is this going to make me learn anything’

  ‘Well I know I’m never going to steal a spliff off Hughsy’

  Good line Grenny Nemo, and his utter campness was gold in that situation. I’m cleaning out matter! Matter! And pubes! Sending us out to get spoons… haha. It looks alright to me… Lol! Stop being so inconsiderate! Fuck, they took all your oats, shit who would do such a thing! Where are all my sprinkles!! YOU CANNOT HOOVER NOW! (That was a very valid point, given it was about 5 in the morning) Good use of the word we. ‘It’s going down, it’s going down!’ (rarely thought of as a good thing). And then you went out, and we put jam on the bunk bed ladder we assumed you’d sleep on, though unfortunately you didn’t, and put more porridge infront of the door. Which you stood in. It was funny. Wheres our rice!?! Haha.

• Anyway while you were slaving away, we were having some pretty damn amusing conversations. Cockapoo and the worlds ugliest fish… lol! Man in the mirror.

  Is he a monster?

  Oh yeah.

  The people in the single ads, are older then the ones in the metro.*

  How do you know?

  It says their ages. Haha

  *About 79ish I think it was.

Day six

• Haha, we were talking about Pokémon, I remember that, for a fair while.

  ‘You seem in a bad mood.’

  ‘Yeah I wonder why, I had some fags, and alcohol, nothing else has really happened…’

  ‘It’s the fags that do it to you, they’re very detrimental to your mood.’ Classic However all moods deteriorate when we find out it’s possible we’ll have to pay a deposit, unless someone was to come forward; ‘Fuck lawyers, can’t we just be unpleasant…’ Haha, they’re going to have a huge water bill because of us :L At least I haven’t got the naivety fairy floating gently around my head. I was tripping my ass off… well that gave some hope

• Brazilian legs, if I were a chip. Horoscope: don’t expect favours from people, you won’t get them. Oh, how true Bully for you.
• Evening timme Chasing sea gulls, Pizza and the tramp Gill! Haha, that was admittedly quite scary with a load of 20 year olds demanding Bj’s but also pretty amusing. Again, seeing you was nice. The safety blanket, and walking all the way back to the greenhouse to discover I didn’t have a bloody key, and no one was awake to let me in, so wondering all the way back to Tom’s, with various comments, and something being thrown at me… the bastards Dighty putting that golf flag up onto the building was class, and pretty impressive.
• Sam. Haha, what a very drunken legend. You’re proper nasty, especially my man in the army suit. (Seeing my phone wallpaper) You are a next level reckless geezer. Keep smiling, that’s the way forward. You’re a proper star. You’re a nasty pasty.

Day seven

• The cafe and the person outside. The bill, paid mostly in coins, because you know they love us. Rain, roof checks, salami, friends. Lighter fights, and pictures in the shower. Weed and fags in the room, (And later Chinese, it makes for a bad odour combination). Talk of going home. I’m glad we didn’t.
• Dan Thank you, I needed that talk. I don’t know if you’ll read this, doesn’t really matter. But thanks
• My lovely Haha, walking, it was lush. Gert lush, like Haha, I remember that tunnel, and the zoo, and lots of snails. And that man, haha :L Where the hell did he even come from! Saying goodbye was not good. Pretty damn sad really. But hell, you made the holiday a hell of a lot more then I expected it to be. And I’m surprised we clicked so easily. And that I trust(ed) you so quickly. You wouldn’t know particularly, but that’s pretty damn abnormal for me. Instinct is, so far at least, proving right. You are making yourself out to be rather charming and lovely. Even if you do murder snails I have your lighter I like it :L Your shirt would have been good too, but it’s a bit more to part with, right?

  What can I say… You’re gorgeous Of course I’m not going to forget you Not that it looks like we’re planning on giving each other the chance But still, that was a silly suggestion.

  You’re rubbish

Day eight

• Cleaning! Fucking hell, it took ages to get you guys up. And you missed breakfast, they had orange juice and enough milk for tea! It was great. Fascinating tissues, and laughing at a bottle falling off Dighty’s shoulder, and consequently, quickly coming to the conclusion that we must be very sleep deprived to find it all so amusing. Hell, we threw out so many socks! Haha.
• You’re only as good as your last game. Anyone else want a vicious beating with a plastic spade? Ha, it was very amusing to watch mind. Awwh man they’ve got a flute! Haha, the funniest thing, having just put the lighter to use; Do you smell burning paper? Really? You don’t smell it? None of you? Am I tripping or is there paper burning? This resulted in a swift exit. Having thanked them for putting up with us, the ‘worst people they’ve ever had, and they’ve had stag and hen do’s and all…’ Lol!
• On the train: Tom got a hole in one… heh. What? Phoning the clock to find out the exact time… Haha, lets just pray it’s because we were sleep deprived, otherwise we’re just freaks It was fun though.

Our room (top picture, taken in the doorway), was the tiniest thing you’ve seen in your life. People complained about theirs, and came back to ours and were like, ‘yeah you’re right, this is a shit hole..’ On arrival, Freddie asked about a ‘hole in the wall’ meaning an ATM cash machine thing, and the landlord guy just goes, ‘Oh, you found it then’… It was like… Erm… But to be honest, it was quite sociable, and fun to be in. It raised amusing comments:

Our room; take lost baggage at Heathrow, add a one stop and a hand grenade and add bottles liberally.

Our house is like a bunker; it’s got high energy foods in a corner, very basic hygiene facilities and a lot of bunk beds.

But in all honesty, it was really fun and nice. I wish they changed the bed sheets… Especially when jam, cherry coke and God knows what else was getting everywhere. Not to mention the sand.

To put it into perspective; We slept with our suitcases on our beds, in the foetal position, because there was no room on the floor, if we wanted the liberty of being able to walk.

(By the way, Sam, if you read this, I am rocking the use of the semi colon )

‘Roomies’, you were pretty awesome Generally. Which was surprising, seeing as we barely know each other. But I think that enhanced the experience really. I’m really happy with the way all that turned out.

I swear that the whole holiday was just based on stealing various things :L Spliffs, phones and camera’s (Jons, and Maxines). Spades and windbreakers. Lighters and food. Energy drink, and at the end, when it was like well if you’re not present your stuff is liable to be thrown out or stolen… Ahh it was great fun.

Basically, it was awesome Although, for pretty specific reasons, I’m fairly sure if I was in some other people’s positions, I’d have thought it was all hyped up for nothing.

Newquay.

You go expecting gash, hash and sand yeah? If you want it, you will not be disappointed.

That does seem to contradict my last statement, but I’m still sticking with it.

Saturday was pretty amazing to be honest. Simply because I see you about twice a year, but when we do see eachother we talk. About everything. Despite the age difference and all. And you are rather lovely. I’m glad you’re happy And I’m glad you’re back in Bristol. Might see you around, if you’re unlucky

And then Sunday evening in particular was just… brilliant :L I spent more or less the entire day looking for jobs and work experience, and I have never sent quite so many emails :L Ahh well. And then in the evening, I went for my first time, to the legendary midnight golfing. I was shockingly bad, I kept hitting signs and the like :L Some of the advice my uncles gave was classic. Put some hate into it… and then Alec’s advice… Imagine you’re hitting someone with a rolling pin. You wouldn’t just tap them would you, you’d follow through… I’ve never hit anyone with a rolling pin! Oh Jess, you dice with death… What are you talking about! We’re playing golf. Ahh it’s brilliant. The time was announced; 9.58, and so we had to leg it down to the pub. Where Alec talked to us about the bombs he used to make, and the uses he put them to. It was really nice

And then to top it off, I came back to find Blur playing glastenbury… Oh God I love them so much. Ahh… I have nothing to say but (L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)

 

This is about humanity. And the odd inanimate object. Just tiny irrelevant things, that make me smile no end.

Habits that people who know me too well have picked up. Like people telling me to stop if it’s not safe when approaching a road, or tell someone else not to touch my stomach (although this normally comes seconds after I fall to the floor). Taking my window key when necessary, or writing random notes about to stick them up so I can be reminded of you.

I love all the injokes, and the smug feeling you get when they’re acknowledged in public, and you know what’s being talked about no one else does. Better is when it’s serious stuff being cryptically talked about, and you know what it means, despite other people not knowing. Or when you’re the only person even permitted to see it. Being the only person to know a secret, the bigger the better. Doesn’t it just make you feel loved It can involve extra work, if they’re upset, but if you’re the person they trust you enough to tell, surely that suggests there’s a fair bit of love and the like between the two of you. And therefore, surely you wouldn’t mind looking out for them. My logic anyhow :L

I love being phoned up for no reason but to chat, even if we were talking to eachother just hours ago. I love people who say that they’re going to help you sort out your problem. Not just cheer you up, but actually attempt to help you tackle the root of everything. Or people pledging to stand by you, even though I doubt they understand the whole story. Just to be loyal. Although, saying that, generally, I’m more impressed with the people who side with what they consider to be morally right. Or people who just work towards sorting things out. But still loyal friends are lush to have.

I love clicking with people when in reality you barely know them, but within a few meetings of eachother, you’re telling them all kinds of shit.

I love the way I can have the stupidest conversations with you. Like what type of tree you would peck if you were a woodpecker. Not the eucaliptase obviously. I love the way you’re younger and (supposedly) more niave, and yet you look out for me like hell. And you’ll be bossy to make sure I’m healthy. I like how you’ll text me occasionly though we never have anything that can’t wait to be said to eachother.

Strangers can be brilliant too. Like watching people do backflips into a sand pit, or just watching seemingly the happiest most content family I’ve ever seen walk their dog. Having a stranger laugh with you, or exchanging smiles with someone you’ve never met before. Seeing a random single rose growing in the field, I mean since when do fields with somersulting strangers grow roses?

I love listening to madly exhausting songs at full volume. And I love it when animals curl up on you, or when you find a program on TV that you haven’t seen since your childhood, and it’s a double bill. I love getting close to someone you’ve known for a while but never really talked to. I like being missed. I love pictures where the person in them in genuinly laughing not posing. Of anyone. I love having people, who arn’t friends, but random people – adults, you can trust and properly talk to. With age difference not being a barrior. I love being warm. I love items in your house that are special but only for you, and sometimes there’s not even a reason behind it. Like the hoody I’m wearing, although it will never be seen in public. Or the monkey sat at the top of my desk. I love remembering how much you love something, when you haven’t thought about it in a while. This tends not to happen with people, because I miss them much more easily… obviously. But not seeing something you love in a while, and then watching it, reading it, being moved by it again…

I love having people that mean everything to you. Even though if it fucks up it means you’re in huge shit. It doesn’t though. There’s a sense of security.

At the same time, it’s kind of nice to know you can live without certain people. When you can see that if you couldn’t you’d just be getting hurt. Or more hurt anyways.

I don’t know. I prefer the first catagory. Of course, you would prefer the people you couldn’t live without to the people you could :L Stupid statement really. Until you have to live without them.

I love being able to discuss things with you. And not feeling like I’m rolling in self pity, or anything like that. Just the feeling that these are things that should be talked about, so decisions can be made. It’s relevant. And purposeful. Nothing we talk about is moaning. It’s bitching mostly, and then discussion. Meh I guess most people think this though. I don’t know, it just feels… more valid.

You compare me now to this time yesterday, and the mood change is phenomenal It’s awesome. And I’m very happy.

So, I’m an ugly, yet adorable infertile wine/stella drinking lush now am I?

And because I’m infertile you’re after my mammery glands? Thats the way it is eh?

Dream team ftw mate! Compulsary rules:

- Sex must be had between all members

- Singing and bitching must take place at all times

- Automatic hatred of whoever Nicky and Clara are pissed off with this week.

And you’re set!

Sam You make me laugh (Those two sentences both had words with multiple letters in, for added effect, but then I remembered our stand against bad grammar.) Haha, you’re expecting me to be talking about the Dream Team, how special must you feel now it’s just moved onto you specifically Anyways you’re hilarious :L And the sexual tension between us is painful. As is bad grammar. Init. You basically made my night yesterday Balancing wallets, glasses and piroutting. And I just remember laughing into you so much :L Haha you made me very happy So thankyou

And now I’ve had a nice night out It’s not been a bad day actually, for someone who woke up in a verry pessimistic mood.

Claraa (with 2 a’s! [3 if you're being annoying]) is a bit of a legend I love her muchly. And this is just obvious stuff now, everyone knows I love her. But even so, I am in the mood to renew vows

And if we’re going through members of the dream team, I might just have to point out that Sophie’s a fucking legend! And with me in the nightmare scare eh?

Thankyou. To several people Basically if you’ve made me smile, thankyou

I was needing it

And now I’m happy. XD

 

We’ve ran out of people to bitch about. We’re now bitching about dates of the year.

You made her sound like a whore!

I made me sound like a loser.

Just aswell we were on that side of the wall…

Shake that ass? Pfft.

Salmon Minge…

BUT CLARA! And your side of the story gets as surreal as mine by the sounds of it I’m so glad we went now

I was just angry at the time, and I wasn’t getting an angry enough reaction out of you…

 

LOL!

Oh and Hannah… right, this is rambling and any meaningful message is lost, but this is what my sister, not knowing any other adjective then unforgettable and fruit in her french writing wrote…

I had fish and chips for tea. It was unforgettable. Why? I guess I just really love fish and chips. I hate potatoes though, because they’re not a fruit.

 

Oh, God she makes me smile

Smelling strongly of strangers stale beer, at 5am having had a good 3 hours sleep, thinking it’s pm and that therefore I’m fucked for maths.

By 11amish I have removed dazedly all of last nights makeup, distinguished it from any bruises, found my hidden phone, have eaten for the first time in the last 24 hours, and am generally feeling a lot less rough.

Ollies reaction was the one I was expecting most people to have. But apparently I was too hysterical in my story telling for people to take it comically… I was upset for the wrong reasons, and everyone else kind of realised the reason I should be dodgy, and I was like nooo that’s not the problem… Ohh I love drunken logic. And hate real logic the morning after… well afternoon after, I’m fairly sure I was still tipsy this morning.

I have a theory though right Clara thinks it’s plausable. Ollie disagree’s. I’m praying it’s true. I’m taking we’re never going to know :L

Nicky:

can remember shaking hands with a bush
can remember asking the bush if it wanted to fuck her
can remember the bush pointing a gun at her
can remember fleeing from the bush with JJ
can remember praying to Allah at the church
can remember JJ giving her a pole dance
can remember refusing to give away vodka
can remember discussing a load of depressing shit with JJ
can remember running madly around the field
can remember climbing tree’s
Can remember the windows of the church shaking, and me and JJ shouting.
can remember telling elliot that mark needed to pee, and his precense unlike mine JJ’s and Ollies and later Clara’s was not needed. Me JJ and Clara had apparently all seen it at the forth rave, and Ollie was camp and had a girlfriend so it didnt matter.
can remember Scott hugging her
can remember ed telling her on her roof that if she jumped he had to be there to see it
can remember being in hysterics on the floor with JJ, and my dad getting pissed off
can remember still drinking at 3.3o am
can remember telling Maik to strip
can remember phoning about 20 people. Some of whom I don’t know.
can remember Tom phoning her at 5ish and then denying it.
can remember staying awake until 6.30am
can remember bitching about people with JJ with them stood ridiculously close by.
can remember Rachel bugging her for vodka
can remember Rachel grabbing her as she went onto her roof
can remember Ed taking the key to her roof away
can remember Ollie Dan and Mark running at her and JJ with their torches on
can remember wandering which star was Mars
can remember trekking through mud with Ollie and JJ
can remember contemplating going back to mine with Ollie and JJ and calling the police on the others
Can remember shouting at Elliot for blocking her view.
Can remember Holly telling her she was getting in the way of true love.
Can remember things she’d rather forget for now.

I’ve come up with a mathematical theorum It’s awesome Want to hear it?

0+1 = 1
1 goes into 1.
1+2 = 3
2 does not go into 3
3+3 = 6
3 goes into 6

And it goes on like this with every other number going into the sum of all the numbers so far. I’ll symbolise from here the ones that are divisible by the number with a (y) and the ones that aren’t with a (n)

6+4=10 (n)
10+5=15 (y)
15+6=21 (n)
21+ 7=28 (y)
28+8=36 (n)
36+9=45 (y)
45+10=55 (n)
55+11=66 (y)
66+12=78 (n)
78+13=91 (y)
91+14=105 (n)
105+15=120 (y)

And so on and so forth. Thats as far as I’ve tried it to.
But pretty impressive for me to come up with that huh?

You fool:
This night your life will be demanded of you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself

Psycho.

I’m looking for a private island.

What are you running away from?

Wh-why do you ask that?

People never run away from anything. You know what I think. I think that we’re all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out. We scratch and, and claw, but only at the air, only at each other. And for all of it, we never budge an inch. Sometimes, we deliberately step into those traps.

Why don’t you go away?

If you love someone, you don’t do that to them – even if you hate them. You understand that I don’t hate him. I hate what he’s become. I hate the illness.

Wouldn’t it be better if you put him.. someplace?

What do you know about caring? Have you ever seen the inside of one of those places? The laughing and the tears! And the cruel eyes studying you. But he’s harmless. People always mean well. They cluck their thick tongues and shake their heads and suggest oh-so-very-delicately. He needs me. It’s not as if he were a maniac, a raving thing. He just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes.

Haven’t you?

Today was pretty awesome Well basically Games was. Miss Nesbit. WHAT A LOL! Everybody dance now! lol. Ultimate frisby. Or Quiddich. Miss whats bus in Latin? Or plane? Climbing through bushes from where we’d chucked frisbees over. Walking to the field round the cricket nets and bat, when we were meant to be running about and warming up. those relay matches. Sexual dancing. Saving Maiks life. Oh just an awesome afternoon. These next few thursday afternoons are going to be hilarious.

And Lucys tomorrow Erm still a little nervous about it, but overall if I don’t drink, then even if there are loads of people it wont be half as bad as if I did. And if I try and stick around with Lucy and Ollie, then who could ever be sad with that combination?

Ahh my gbf is coming round early to do my hair. How awesome is that All these other people who claim to have them… well this is deffo what you should have in one. He’s actually good at it and all. It’s mad.

Then Sallies. No idea how that will go, barely thought about it next to lucys, but should be good.

And that concludes my exciting plans :L

Oh yeah and I promised I’d mention Maik.. because my rant about lent upset him :L Although techinically he;’s been mentioned earlier on anyways. But hey.

Let me onto the roof with her! I’m her BFFL!

The crys a mister Oliver Hunt screamed as I climbed drunkenly onto my window at the last rave.

I’m not sure how him standing me up for, of all people, Mellissa Skull has persuaded me to write a detailed blog on how he is the best mate ever but it has. And God knows I’m not stuck for idea’s on it.

Okay

You know when you have a mate and you feel completely at ease with them. And you don’t need to be doing anything at all, you can literally just be doing your hair or makeup while he’s on Timmy, in silence. But it’s not a wasted day, or uncomfortable, it’s a day well spent.

Or when you have a mate, and you can bitch about everyone and anyone with them, and tell them everything, and yet you know that, despite the fact that you’ve just been doing it to other people, it won’t go any further then the room.

Or someone who you can just constantly laugh with. Literally all the time. Someone who you never tire of seeing. And even if it’s literally just for a few minuites popping in to say hey, it worth it, or if your busy as hell, and he comes a knocking, you still let them in.

Ever had one person you have never fought with in your life? Literally the closest you’ve come to was a sarcastic joke on the phone.

Ever had someone who can make you up and make you look amazing. And doesn’t mind being called camp. And is a total lol on msn pissing people off. Ever had someone who you can get pissed with, if it’s only him, even though with anyone else you get seriously depressed? Ever had someone your parents literally adore, and will tell their friends about, saying “he’s a lovely lad”

Ever had someone who will go out and play Kylie and Katy Perry at full volume in the summers sun on a trampoline so the pair of you can dance around and look like twats?

And ever had all of that just for one person? Ok some of that got a bit specific towards the end but you get my drift. Seriously, only person ever I haven’t fought with.. and I’ve known him long enough to believe me. And he still makes me laugh, and he’s still the guy I would consider my best mate. Even though normally mates I’m particuly close to come and go that hasnt happened with Ollie.

Ollie

you are my BFFL. Enjoy the title.

You poof.

xox

Somebody stole her corpse!!

Okay these blogs are coming fast and furiously recently, but it’s because I’ve had so many lush days and when you’re down it’s nice to look back on them [Yeah I said lush, yes I probably have been influenced by Emi in my grammar as of late.. Who ever pointed that out to me the other day I can't remember.. ]

Anyways. I’m totally blaming my recent good mood on Clara, because I’ve been having some amazing days with her.

The rest of this is likely to make no sense to you. Unless you are in fact Miss Twamley.

OH MY GOD! Somebody stole her corpse!
Irish/Indian/Scottish EA
Shalott.. need I say more
Ché (L)
Gothic Ché
Evita meets EA
THAT FUCKING WALTZ
Him getting beaten up :
“Us two, Ché and Panda will have a love child”
“So it will be a emo god of sarcasm, with a touch of feline about it?
“So basically Maik Keefe with a tail…? Hmm… maybe we’ll have to have another love child without Panda…”
Whats not to understand… ha babe that made me laugh
I lovee you :)
[And Ché and Panda... obviously ]

xoxoxoxox

Thank God I don’t get hangovers…

Well when you go to a party where the host has a keg of beer that contains 100 pints what do you expect? Sober amusuments.. I think not.

It was pretty good If Ollie was having to lie down because he’d drunk too much, it makes mine and Hollies madness seem failry acceptable.

Quick rerun?

Falling off the bed and breaking a £40 dragon, and cutting open my leg.. again sorry..
Refusing to get a plaster put on because they hurt when they come off
Phoning various people up.. as per usual
Singing Dan Angels and Vanessa Carlton
Trying to fit into a boiler cupboard
Seeing the red light that was Gods way of blessing us
Going down the stairs several times on my ass
Playing I’ve never..
Kissing a snow white carpet
Watching Jackass and Paul O Grady
A generally happy night

Sorry to anyone I phoned, and for all the texts I sent.. but hey they werent abusive :) Fairly complementary actually
Yeah Good night.

All the guys commenting… 6 goes?
“That would go down about as well as going up to him and saying “you know what, you have a tiny dick…” Odd looks
CHEERS TO YOU… Oh shit don’t look up their staring at us
Panda and Charlies Angels
Sitting about 20 yards away, watching them get stoned, with Panda.. How surreal!!
Max(?) getting paranoid and diving out of the window
Elliot spraying deoderant out the window
Generally all window activities
Parrots and hens
IS THERE A HOUSE PARTY?? GET YOUR TITS OUT.

Sheringham
Was soo amazing

The best weekend I’ve had possibly all year..

Well the weekend with Ollie’s part a while back, and seeing Dan was pretty awesome.

But that had consequences to a point.

And this weekend was so amzing. I loved it.

Poiinnters…

-> SCORE!

-> More then twice..

-> Going in the sea

-> Damn parents letting their children alone on aeroplanes

-> This looks like a nice wholesome film

-> 99′s, nominations, and risk

-> Talkkking

-> Drinking Games

-> Counting cards

-> Posing

-> Gardening

Awesome Days

A toast To all the bitching and fighting. To the downenders, and all the raves. to the regrets and all the guys. To Ed Harry Maik and Scott. To Mark for being so god damn cute. For Lucy coming in with her trousers round her ankles. To Ollie and Hollie. To being beaten up and chased by chavs. To clara. To Beth’s obsession with her tits, and all her name dropping. To Beth leaving next year, because we’ll miss her. To Rachel always having food in her hair. A toast to all the injokes, and to the Japs. To swine flu hitting downend and killing us all. A toast to Miss Lewis and her bible quotes. A toast to the bhaji’s, twister mat and the all the mornings after. A toast to alcohol and all legal and illegal substances. A toast to the laughter and singing. To talking to parents, police and community support officers. A toast to toasting too much and not eating. A toast to the last few amazingly bitchy years we’ve spent together. A toast to cancer. Bascially, guys a toast to us.

That was more or less it, but obviously I don’t remember it all. It went on for a hell of a long time though.

Prom was amazing. And that toast just seemed to bring us all together again, when as of late we’ve been drifting. Key moments?

Dammers dancing

Me and Dory singing Use Somebody

Me and JJ dancing

Lucy talking to various teachers

All piccys

Trying to get Slipknot on… And failing

The cha cha slide and the Macerena

Princesses and penguins

Flo rider – Low

Toasting

The contests

Chucking people in the air.

Basically it was a whole load of dancing. And it was so amazing. the point above don’t give nearly the right impression because it was one of, if not the best day of my year so far.
Everyone looked amazing. AJ beat everyone but, if you weren’t comparing people with her, we all looked amazing. Ahh pic’s will explain better the words do. So here’s a carefully chosen few… Ahh theyve gone to the top ahh well that’s okay. Theres limited numbers on fb atm more or less because most people are still asleep, but i might add more later.
If you happen to be on fb and want a laugh look at the pics my sister uploaded of us as kids.
Cheers.
xox

And I keep walking.

Today has been awesome. Mostly.
We’ll go through chronologically. But tonight has been the best part.

Today at school was pretty awesome too anyway though. Some peoples last day, our last day of compulsary education, and any excuse for a party right? So lots of pics, and lots of laughs. Looking like twats of course.

But tonight has been amazing. I know that we were meant to be seeing you all in a big group, but lets face it us two are both better in pairs then in big groups, and we have some awesome times. And you didnt miss us, and certain things would have just pissed us off. So it was good.

Want me to go through one of the funniest moments in my life?

Guy/girl, we are not overly sure about four foot tall is stood in the co op behind us in the queue, as we are stood choosing what food we want, and therefore not really part of the queue. I from earlier today, still have rave paint on my face.
Us: We’re not part of the queue, we’re just browsing here, you can go infront of us.
Guy/Girl: Whats on your face?
Clara: Rave paint
Me: It was my last day at school, so we were partying…
Guy/Girl: [interupting me, to ask me] Are you Danish?
Us: No…
Guy/Girl: Are you Polish?
Clara (due to the fact I’m in hysterics): No…
Guy/Girl: Are you German?
Me: No, I’m British
Guy/Girl: You’re British!?
Me: Yeah…
Guy/Girl: Sorry I’m mentally deranged, I need to fucking shut up, I’m so fucking stupid, I should keep my mouth shut… etc
On the speaker things “Ashley” is called to the checkout.
Guy/Girl: [shouting at the top of his voice] ASHLEY YOU’RE NEEDED AT THE CHECKOUT. ASHLEY YOU’RE NEEDED. I CAN SHOUT LOUDER THEN ANY OF YOU. ASHLEY YOU’RE DESPERATLY NEEDED AT THE CHECKOUT IT’S URGENT…
Queue moves on and guy/girl gets serves, with me and Clara in hysterics, and the people behind us trying not to laugh.

No way do you get the full scale of hilarity from that description. But that was literally one of the funniest moments of my life. Other good moments? Lottie Dean… “DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME I THREW WATER OVER LOTTIE DEAN”… crap comeback, but sorry babe the best I had. I’ll get her with my pokemon come relentless moves… Singing MSI, hedgehog, MOOSE!

And babe, you are bloody awesome to talk to. I love you so much. And I can’t work out if I say it too much to everyone, or just too little to you, but I’m fairly sure you don’t know how much I love you, and God knows what I’d do without you (or myself )

Oh… and I told you so yeah? Disgusting though it is… Beastiality is wrong, but fucking aliens… if their fit who wouldn’t?

And we don’t get their sense of humour

Iloveyou
xoxoxoxox

Want a fair account of my day?

Family Life.
Exodus 20 – Honour your mother and father
Mark 10 – A man will leave his mother, and join his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
Mark 10 – No man must then separate that which God has joined together.
Evangelical Wells Family – The family that prays together stays together.
Proverbs 23 – Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Proverbs 29 – Disipline your son and he will give you peace.
Emphesians 6 – Children, it is your christian duty to obey your parents.

Marriage
Church of England Marriage Service – Till death do us part.
Church of England Additional Marriage Service – They shall be united in there love, as Christ is united with his church.
Hebrews 13 – Marriage is honourable in all
Genisis 2 – It is not right for man to be alone.
Romans 7 – Every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband
Emphesians 5 – A man who loves his wife loves himself.
John 4 – Those who love live in unison with god.

Divorce
Church of England Marriage Service – Till death do us part.
Mark 10 – No man must then separate that which God has joined together.
Mark 10 – Any man who divorces his wife and marrys another woman, commits adultary against his wife.
Matthew 5 – Any man who divorces his wife for any reason other then her marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adultress.
Matthew 19 – Any man who divorces his wife for any reason except her unfaithfulness, commits adultary if he marrys some other woman.
Exodus 20 – Do not commit adultary
Corinthians 3 – No man must divorce his wife.

Abortion
Exodus 20 – Do not kill.
Corinthians 7 – Surely you know that you are Gods temple, and that Gods spirit dwells within you.
Roman Catholics – Abortion and Infantcide are the most abominable of crimes.
Church of England – If you make a mistake do not destroy the life.
Genisis 1 – Human life is precious
Exodus 20 – Life should not be destroyed
Pro Choice Opinion – Every woman has the right to decide what she does with her own body. A feotus is an extention of her body.

Euthanasia
Exodus 20 – Do not kill
Genisis 1 – Human life is precious
Exodus 20 – Life should not be destroyed
EXIT – [everybody] Should be entitled to the mercy of a peaceful death, if, and only if, it is their expressed wish.
Methodist Conference 1974 – The argument of euthanasia would be answered if better methods of caring for the dying were developed.
Corinthians 7 – Gods spirit dwells within all Christians. Euthanasia destroys Gods temple.
Quakers – Instead of laws we offer a process to make the right decision for each person in his or her circumstances.

Embryology
Roman Catholics – Human life should not be treated as a means to an end.
Roman Catholics – Artificial Insemination violates the dignity of the person, and the sanctity of marriage.
Church of England – All life, including life growing in the womb, is made by God in his own image, and therefore must be nurtured, supported and protected.
Anglican Church 1994 – Research under license be permitted on embryo’s up to 14 days old.
Exodus 20 – Do not kill
Genisis 1 – Human life is precious.
Exodus 20 – Do not destroy life.

War
Matthew 5 – Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God.
Matthew 5 – Love your enemy and pray for those who persecute you.
Matthew 26 – All who draw the sword, die by the sword.
Jeremeh 48 – Cursed he who holds his sword back from blood.
Mikah 5 – He shall be their peace.
Roman Catholics – They should remember, the intention of going to war was to win peace.
Romans 12 – Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.

Poverty
Matthew 25 – Only those who feed the poor and hungry can expect to be given a place in Gods kingdom
Luke 12 – You fool. Tonight your life shall be demanded of you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself.
Luke 18 – Give to the poor and you shall have treasure in heaven
Pope John Paul the Second – I hope, through programs such as Cafod, you will continue to help the poor, feed the hungry and contribute to the cause of developement.
Cafod Aim – To promote human development, and social justice in witness to the Christian faith and Gospel values.
Leviticus 19 – Love your neighbour as you love yourself.
James 5 – Rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you.

Discrimination and Prejudice
Luke 4 – I have been sent to proclaim release to the captives, and the recovering of sight to the blind.
Luke 7 – Blind men see, lame walk. lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear.
Luke 14 – Go out into the byways and highways and make them come in so my house may be full.
Collosians 4 – Christ is all, and is in all.
Pope John Paul the Second – Discrimination is incompatible with Gods design.
James 2 – If you show partiality, you commit sin.
Church of England Board of Social Responcibility – They share our humanity, and like us all are children of God.

Funerals
Genisis 1 – Life is precious.
John 3 – Whoever believes in him will not perish, but have eternal life.
Luke 23 – I tell you the truth, today you will join me in paradise.
John 11 – He who believes in me will live, even though he dies.
Psalm 23 – And in Gods house for ever more my dwelling place shall be.
Catechism – God predestines no one to go to hell
Corinthians 15 – And the resurection of the dead comes also through a man.

Environment
Communion – All things are created by God, and in our own do we give to him
Genisis 2 – God placed man in the garden of Eden to curate and guard it.
Methodist teaching – Christians should support those working on conservation
Methodist teaching – Man and woman should be stewards and curators not exploiters.
Pope John Paul the Second – We have the responcibility to create a policy which balances consumption and conservation.
Psalm 8 – You appointed him over all creation.
Lester Brown – We have not inherited this world from our fathers, but are borrowing it from our children.

XD

Want a lol?
This is my maths teachers quotes from over the last 2 years. Legend

“Its like a blind man, at midnight, trying to thread a needle with gauntlets on…”

“Someone press that boys’ ON button!”

“That’s not a zero… well, it is a zero…”

“It always amazes me how people think I can’t see them when I’m not looking…”

“I cannot carry you all on my back!”

“It’s like going to the bakers shop for a bun or a cake, and not knowing what they are!”

“Don’t sit there with your brain closed!”

“They’re almost the same, but different…”

“Most of you are a bit smarter than your average ant…”

“Maybe the blood will reach their brains now. I’m not saying where their brains are!”

“It’s not a question of how many beanbags- how many beanbags is how many beanbags…”

“Will that boy at the front shut up?!”

“Some people like messy. Not me.”

“Look at the screen! Don’t be babies…”

“In his tiny little head…”

“I’ll give you one point five minutes to do this!”

“If you cannot say this, you cannot claim to be educated!”

“Put your desks under your tables!”

Mr.M-“RORY!”
Rory- “sorry!”
Mr.M- “I hope so!”

“Everyone must know that by ‘next day!’”

“It’s a warm curve, which bends.”

Mr.M- “so why am I good at this?”
Ellie- “Because you practise?”
Mr.M- “No. Because I practise.”

“Everyone loves parabolas!”

“Stop doing that. You idiot.”

“There are some people like cabbage in a cabbage patch- growing bigger, but not growing any smarter!”

“Connor’s brain is like a sieve. It goes in one ear and comes dribbling out the other.”

“X=-b-square root of b squared – 4ac all over 2a. This may be strange at the moment, but when you know it, you will enjoy saying it!”

[patronising voice] “Shall we test it!?”

“How do I know these things? I just do.”

“Why are you all up there making love to that radiator? It’s not healthy!”

“I’ve seen a moment of Coronation Street, Westenders…”

“That’s like the man jumping the 10ft chasm, but he only gets 9.999ft of the way and he still ends up smashed up at the bottom. That’s what getting close to the answers is like on these questions.”

“There are some of us who can’t remember what we had for tea last Wednesday”…

“Deepali, I hope you’re not chewing gum”

“Jamie and Nick are a couple of pansies”

“This part is so important it has a special name. Not everyone has a special name. Lots of people are called Ben, or James, and not everyone has a special name like Rory!”

“Alyce Berry- not very merry.”

“An I-sausages triangle”

“There’s a strange world you inhabit Oliver.”

“If you want to have a blub, have it in private. Especially if you are a boy. Try to remember you’re British.”

“Do well in this test and you can go forward to meet Santa Clause in his grotto, and feel you have deserved his present.”

“We used to chew rubbers in my day, and erasers.”

“That’s how it’s written down. Not dog’s breakfast style.”

“If you do not use a ruler then you will end up messy like Jo.”

“You do not have to be Brain of Britain to work out the difference between North and South.”

“There’s no need to use a sledgehammer to crack a nut!”

Mr.M: “Lizzy,”
L: “My name’s Libby”
Mr.McC: “but you prefer Lizzy don’t you.”

“Let’s get busy!”

“Can we fix it? Yes we can!”

“Our tools are as forgotten as last night’s cold dinner. We can remember a few carrots, a few potatoes and a few peas, but that’s it.”

“Those individuals had probably not cast little eyeballs over revision for the test.”

“The ability to do this is what separates us from the apes”

“When I was your age, if I forgot my instruments, I would get a good thrashing with a big leather belt”

“2 means I am a lazy little toad, 3 means ok, 4 means I am superb, god’s beloved, the new tom lovering, 1 means total idiot, brain dead, needs brain transplant, best that I take them out and shoot them.”

“Who would like to tell us about the mariners compass?… don’t all rush at once.”

“The hardest thing about parallelograms is spelling it. The second hardest thing is saying it. Apart from that they are not hard.”

“I don’t want anyone going home blubbing on Friday night.”

“Why did you do that Libby…? Not a very smart thing to do… if you keep doing it let me know, I know a good psychiatrist.”

“I know this because you are all chatting about things of no consequence whatsoever.”

“These are not going to be my numbers, these are going to be yours.”

“Piffling things”

“Don’t go into the Gobe desert with Rob!”

“1 means I am the lazy toad of BGS, the only thing I want when I get home is to sit down, get mummy to feed me milk and cookies, and watch Angelina Ballerina.”

“There are people who laugh behind your back when you can’t spell. They snigger at you, and point at you!”

“Jamie was on planet Zorg. Now he’s back on Earth.”

“Switch on the light and it turns on, why?! Open the fridge and it’s cold, why?! Turn on the telly, why are there little men playing rugby millions of miles away on your TV?!”

“I’ve just made myself a cup of tea, so I’ll be enjoying that.”

“Why is C=∏d? because it just is. It’s one of nature’s little numbers.”

“4 means I try so hard it hurts, I never watch Angelina Ballerina, or West-enders, which are for the young and the useless.”

“So Betty, we know that that’s lightning and that’s thunder. Thunder is LOUD. Anything else you want to say before you yell at everyone? No? Ooh look, there’s even loud heavy rain following the loud thunder!”

“And mummy may forgive you, but we won’t”

“Curious, But True!”

“Because brains are like that, they are magical things. They take you off to far and distant places where you get chased by monsters and stabbed to death.”

“People don’t like fat rectangles or thin rectangles-people like GOLDEN rectangles!”

Don’t think that just because I’m not looking at you, I can’t see you!”

“We don’t really have a school leopard Ellie, don’t worry!”

“Excuse me chaps, are you Taliban?”

“Get that gum in the bin and jump in with it!”

What does a needle know that you don’t?”

“David, this is NOT bimbo television!”

“…but he chose 360 degrees. I bet you’ve sat at home many a night, staring into the fire, wondering why there are 360degrees in a circle… OR you were watching Angelina Ballerina!”

“Not many people know that nowadays.. Some people don’t even know the ‘Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner!’”

“Meet Andy the Angle! Andy has two arms.”

“As long as you know where Andy is, you can form an equation in seconds!”

“I am NOT your mummy!”

“Gordon Bennett Ellie! I would not like to be stuck in a desert with you lot I can tell you! Don’t drink all your water at once, don’t wander off into the dark, and don’t touch dangerous snakes…”

We don’t have all day to explain to Will that we live on Planet Earth.”

“The calculator with a big cross through it is, I know, difficult to interpret. Just like when you go into the jungle…”

“Or just people who like to know things…Like, did you know that Obama spelled backwards is ‘amabo’ which means love in Latin? *blank stares*…”

“Are we all listening little philistines?”

Mr McC: “David is communicating with his friends on Planet Zorg.
Dave: “Hmm?”
Mr MC: “Ahh, must be a Zorg word”

“NEVER believe an answer given to you by Nikki!”

“It’s really kind of beautiful in a mathematical sort of way..”

“Remember to bring your thinking cap!”

“We’ll never get the train… We’ll all be standing at the station wondering what great truths calculus may have revealed to us!”

“It’s easy if you know how… It’s a bit like standing on your hands.”

“In this country we always give the credit to Newton. That’s because we won the war.” “Some of us are trying to shave a black cat in a coal cellar at midnight at… night, with an open cut throat razor.”

“Marty the Smarty…”

Libby: My book is misprinted
Mr Mc: Well don’t tell everyone they’ll all want one.

“IT. AINT. LIKE. THAT!”

What a legend Has that not just cheered you up Imagine it all said in a Scottish accent.

Porque usas mayúsculas, estás tan contenta a verme?
Si Indeed

I am very happy

Why? Erm, 3 hours in subway? Going around a museum? Going to double extra maths revision?
Yes basically

Oh and also asking for ones standard “medium hot chocolate with extra cream” and getting it served in a large cup so about half of the remaining cup, and four or so inches above it was purely whipped cream Yeah babe, I’m here with you crying, because I have a salt deficiancy and I plan on eating your tears.

You and Clara are the only people I can cheer up I swear (this is the part where you bring me down and say I can’t cheer you up?)

It doesn’t matter In the slightest
You two are two of the only three that matter.

Well. Ollie’s always happy. So he doesn’t count right?

I haven’t been this happy in a while. And it’s so uncalled for.

Oh by the way, this is totally and utterly a positive blog from now on
And Spanish was… Well it was okay apart from that God damn Red Indian question, or whatever the hell it was on about

Anywayyys
xox

It is Aeneas’ smile that ends my days.
If he foresakes me not, I never die.
For in his looks I see eternitiy.
And he’ll make me immortal with a kiss.

And this is the true joy of life:

The being used up for a purpose recognised by yourself as a worthy one; The being in force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish clot of ailments and grieviances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I would hold you into the unknown of forever, past the would be’s and hopes, and past all the broken promises tomorrow will bring, that will fail us and lead us to despair. I would hold you into eternity, if you needed me. I love you.
Belle <3

Sublty is your forte…

So this isn't going to be subtle either.
You know what? At least I'm trying. No, of course I don't trust you. You've broken too many promises for that to happen any time soon, and I've seen how you act behind peoples backs, and heard about what you act like behind mine. So no I was never going to trust you. But to be honest I don't trust overly many people. I can rant with Clara, and have the odd word with Xeens, and Emi if she's about, but thats about it. So that point isn't overly relevant. You call me the whore right? Envelope ring any bells? That was a load of of fucking bull shit wasn't it? Lets actually act like friends? Fat chance.
Because this is what we are right? All of us? Bitches. So, two faced? Fair enough, but extremely hypocritical.
But whore? I don't think I'm the whore, when your the one getting off with ugly guys that you barely know, being all over Elliot, and any other guy who you can get near. You were great with Jj's and Maiks relationship weren't you? And Jj's and Joshes… I'm sorry, but he's turned into one of my best mates to be honest. And the ironic thing is that I actually did care, and I actually did talk to a fair few people about if I should be getting this close to him, even just in a friend way. So fuck you.

This involved me from the beginning. I always cared. Ahh you know so fucking little, I tell you nothing now. Clara is like the best person ever, I love her. She knows. You, my best friend for the past 16 going on 17 years? You know fuck all. But I kept my mouth closed didn't I? And I still was up to today.
You were such a fucking bitch towards him. And you knew you werer acting harshly. But mind you, you do this to most people don't you. I can't remember how Nick phrased it the other day, but yeah stop doing it, and get over yourself. You're the person who fucked it up.

Oh final point, this mask you talk about wearing is fading fast. How can you post that in a blog that is nothing but complaining? You deserve it for some of it. But don't make yourself out to be a little trooper who has no one to talk to. Because lets face it you don't shut up.

Oh, and 32E size 6?
You make me laugh.

"I don't think I've ever found someone I click with as much as her (I should say 'you' really, as I guess you're the only person reading this babe ) It's like, I light up completely when I see her :L & tbh, I don't think Relentless or Red is quite strong enough to do that on it's own Anyway, I came home with a smile, which is the main thing as long as she did too & very important to me atm actually, given I've never really found more than 3 people with the ability to cheer me up as easily as that. One of which has disappeared & out of the other two?"

I was walking with Kevin one day,
When he warned me what people say,
Fuck your wife before she's disembowled,
Or who you gonna get to go down?
SUCK IT!
Sucking too hard on your lolly pop
Oh loves gonna get you down.
Fucking too hard with Clara on top,
Just wait till she goes down.
Go down, go down, just wait till she goes down.
Go down, go down, just wait till she goes down.

Bit of Kevin eh? Babe, you turn my days around, you truly do. I love you so much. Today was… oh so so weird. You think it's going to be normal right? Not even properly hyper, just sat around eating chips. Since when do we do that? Have… normal(?) conversations. But hey just grab some relentless, make a few odd noises, buy some milkybar and some haribo and mate we're set. Darling, I know what your councelling sessions are like. I know the bearded old men lined up outside, disabled wives abandoned at home. I know thats not what you meant when you said you'd swallow.
A toast. To Ché, and Motornuerone disease, and euthanasia, and all those who oppose it… Babe what are we on?!

But lets face it 'Julian' was the most… memorable part of our night. Bullet it?

You're the pretty one… she's half pretty.
Do you want to go some place warm… Do you want to go some place warm?!
You know and like men were chasing me… the police? No little green men… Oh… not the police then…
I have ODD, ADHD, ADD and growing issues.
I have black blood in me… right
Friends with benefits… Well not your kind of benefits…
Come back to my hut? Thats not a hut it's a garage It's a hut. It doesn't have a door. It's an office… Right so when an estate agent comes round they say this is the hut?
He's loaded… he has the life, he drives us round…
What year are you in? Eleven. Really? Yeah! Reaaally? Yeah! (he was
Whose the lucky guy then? Are you calling her a guy?
That doesn't make it any better! That just makes the spitting worse!
We come as a package baby.
I'm going to go into my house, get the rubbers, come out, we'll go down my drive in my lane into my hut… If you're gone, I'll kill you…. [We run like fucking hell]
Is Ollie a good friend? HELL YEAH!
She goes for the older guy… grow about 20, 30 years…
You starting on me!
Threesome?
Okay, complete lol, only how did you not get he wasn't joking! He was edging closer the whole time, and he touched us and it was like no, too far. And running from him… Lol!

Scary child. Ahh well.

But asides from you it's been a pretty shit day. Well, you and Xeens admittedly cheer me up lik hell, but… meh. Hmph, I'm finding out things I'm not liking to find out, and I'm hearing them from the wrong people. Not that I can say much I guess. But if I believed you were genuine it would help. But I don't. Who would?

Mehhhh. Other blog?

Me thinks so. But Clara, thankyou so much. I love you to bits. Like, seriously I tell you stuff I've told no one else. Feel loved eh? You sure as hell better.

(L)(L)(L)