This is the most miserable I’ve felt in my life. Ever. Which makes sense I guess seeing as I’ve just lost the person who took me through the happiest I’ve ever been.
I can’t stop crying. And I was just walking round my house for half an hour shouting at no one. At God. Asking what the fuck I did wrong. Asking for a reason I could understand. I don’t even believe in God. Desperarte times call for desperate measures I guess.

But it’s not just Loz. I just generally feel so alone. I really don’t believe anybody gives a shit. Nobody texted me asking  how I was, and for fuck sake I really need someone right now. Anyone. I just want to cut myself. I know this is stupid babe. I think he’s the equivelent of your… Tom or Travis? Which do you like more. I think I’ll say Travis; My tom seems closer to your Tom – paedophile.

Eurgh. What did I do to get this outcome. Why isn’t there a decent reason? And how does he expect me to just return to his house with the other girls and be nothing more. Probably less. He said yesterday he didn’t want to rely on people other then his friends. And they’re better friends then me. I don’t know what I am anymore.

Someone to be phased out. Possibly along with the people who were my friends.

Great.

I’m sorry I didn’t come out this evening babe. I feel bad for you. But I feel shit. And I can’t see being alone for 3 hours would have helped at all.