Babe I need a hug so much. I was going to say major huggage but Loz used to say that to me and so instead I thought it and broke into a fresh wave of tears.

He was nice about it. I guess. I couldn’t stop crying. And it’s only got worse. I feel like shit. Partly because I just don’t understand it. I can’t fully believe he loves me and is still attracted to me. Even if he goes out swearing by it. He says he still wants to be friends. Doesn’t want to lose me. I tell you it’s going to be horrible going round his house and not being his. Just being some other girl along with Sophie and Clara or whoever. Nothing special.

I want people to care. The few who seem to I think I’ve just gone completely off with. And then I’m sad because no one seems to.

He says I deserve better. And I’ll get better. And I won’t be sad after a while. I’ll be happier. I don’t think he gets me. I won’t get better because no one ever finds me attractive. And I won’t feel better because I place far too much dependance in any one person. Slightly ironically he broke up with me because he doesn’t like doing that with someone and he felt it was getting like that with me.

I’m losing it babe. Completely losing it. All I wanted to do was kiss him. And have him make it all better. But it’s not going to happen.

Oh god. I don’t know what to do at all.
Help me.